


What Now?

by danziggystardust



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mental Institution, Angst, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-03
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-12 19:21:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4491687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danziggystardust/pseuds/danziggystardust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An unsanitary and insanity hospital is never the place to look for love of any sort.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [A Splitting Of The Mind](https://archiveofourown.org/works/535958) by [Shoved2agree (Gaiamdma)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gaiamdma/pseuds/Shoved2agree). 



"What is it?"

"Nothing..."

"Come on, lay it on me."

"Wasn't it obvious?" Gerard answered subconsciously and a scrunched face of "Are you fucking joking?" answering physically.

The room the two young men were in reeked of musk, everything had a layer of mystery grime, and the lighting was dreadful. The hue of the entire place was a dingy green, which Gerard guessed was from the mysterious grime that was also on the fluorescent hospital lights above them. He was only "friends" with the Bob because there was no one else that was somewhat sane to talk to from time to time there. Knowing better than to talk to someone with anger issues he usually kept quiet though, keeping his head down and out of trouble.

Plowing through the dull and constant routine; Wake up at 7:00 AM, have morning checks. 7:10 get ready for the day. 7:30 go to breakfast, sit at the same spot by the emergency exit. 8:00 Community Group, a bunch of bull shit group therapy. 9:00 go to Dr. Khan and update him about how I "feel". 11:00 Read in the library, mostly comic books. 12:30 PM Lunch in the same spot as breakfast. 1:00 Vital signs taken and documented. 2:00 More fucking therapy. 3:00 Read more books in the library, maybe watch TV in the media room but Bob is always there. 4:00 Visitation/phone call hour, Mikey always calls but hasn't in a while... 5:00 Dinner in exactly the same spot, again. 6:00 Closure Group, basically setting bullshit goals to meet. 7:30 More fucking reading and TV, but if he's lucky he can snag a pencil and paper to draw. 9:00 PM Take meds, but Gerard usually flushes them down the drain at 9:10 when its shower time. 9:30 Bed time, if he was lucky enough to sleep. Then wake up and do it all again in the Pascack Psychiatric Institution. Yes, this all was definitely at the top of the "Guess What's Bothering Gerard Today" list.

He didn't ask for this, any of this. To be born, to ruin everyone's lives just by simply existing, for all the damn mental illnesses he had, none of it! You would think you would be able to decide what you wanted to do with your own life. To continue living miserably or to finally have relief.

As soon as he lost himself inside of his own jet-black dyed skull, a force of reality brought him back. It was the other young man who asked too many damn questions. A sigh of frustration followed by the squeal of the metal chair each of them sat in. Except now Bob, the strawberry blonde and moderately built patient with anger management issues, hovered above Gerard very menacingly. Gerard didn't like this either, making a mental note to jot that down on his list later.

"You know what you're fuckin' problem is Way?!" Both knowing there would be no reply, he answered himself "You complain about being so alone all the damn time and yet, you push everyone away! You do this to yourself! You think you're better than everyone else, and you know what?! You're just full of fucking horse shit." Oh come on, Gerard thought to himself, I have worse flaws than that. Which, was actually quite true. With that finished thought, he looked Bob in the eyes and replied "You've got me there," A sarcastic smile proceeding his sarcastic tone.

That was the last thing he remembered before waking up in a hospital bed. The right side of his face is what had woken him up. It was pulsating with pain, no doubt caused by Bob. "Great, just what I needed, a black eye." The all-too-familiar "room" was blinding white, enough to add on to Gerards migraine. The walls in this "room" were actually curtains, blocking off each of the hospital beds. From what could be seen, no doctor was in his sectioned off space. So, now he was left with only his thoughts and the occasional coughs of other patients. Suddenly he wished he was in that grime covered room with Bob. He hated being left alone with his thoughts, it was pure torture.

"It's okay Gerard, it's okay. Just think about something, anything other than that... The band, oh yeah the band! I wonder how the guys are doing right now... Mikey hasn't called to check up on me in about a week and neither has Ray or Matt. I should ask to call them later. Fuck, could they have gotten a new lead singer already? What if they're on tour with them and that's why they haven't called, fuck!!! No that couldn't happen, they wouldn't do that to me... Or would they?"

The inner monologue came to an abrupt end when interrupted by a low moan of what must have been pain on the other side of his curtain.


	2. Chapter 2

Gerard didn't sleep that night. The, what was presumably a male on the other side of the curtain, made several noises of pain periodically throughout the hours of darkness, causing restlessness for both of them. Continuous discomfort from Gerards face didn't help much either, and he didn't have the balls to tell the guy to shut the fuck up. Throughout those hours of listening to the stranger, thoughts began to wonder. Making up theories as to how the man got this apparent agony and why he was in this god forsaken mental hospital. Somehow, he felt as if he knew this man. Maybe it was due to the similarities between how Gerard felt and how this man might feel too. That is, if the story he created was valid.

"His name is Frank. Frank was sent here because his parents considered depression to be unnatural. They force pills down his throat, that's why he's hurting so much. Not only because the pills are giving him a stomach ache, but his heart is broken because his own mother and father see him as a puppet that needs to be fixed. The one time he showed his true feelings to them, they considered them an inconvenience. He's not just moaning, he's mourning."

With that thought Gerard felt his eyes sting from a familiar salty discharge that began to pool and drip from his dark circled and bruised pale olive eyes.

"All monsters are human."

The moaning had ceased. Had he gone to sleep? Was he dead?! Without hesitation he swiftly got out from underneath the covers while wiping tears away, not caring about the small draft that had entered through the back of his polka-dotted hospital gown.

As he unveiled the curtains, the heart he thought had stopped beating once he was forced into this place, started beating again. Rapidly, almost pounding out of his chest at the sight.

A male, by the look of his facial features and stature he must be close to Gerards age of 23. "His facial features..." He analyzed them even more, getting closer to what had to have been God's personal work. Semi-long brown hair resting perfectly on and around the heavenly face. As he leaned in closer completely engulfed in a trance, his heart stopped once again as the boys eyes opened.

"Shit!" was the only word that came out as Gerard tumbled backwards into the hospital curtain, successfully ripping it off the rod and causing both lying on the floor. Gerard now more than ever he wished he was dead.

"Are you okay man?" said the boy while separating the curtain from a strangers body. A body that was just hovering over him while he was sleeping. Frank didn't know how he felt about that. Being woken up after finally getting some sleep, or being woken up by a creep. Either way, he was up now. Reaching his hand out to the man as a gesture of help, he reluctantly introduced himself.

"I'm Frank Iero by the way. Who are you?" bitting his tongue from finishing the sentence with "Who the Fuck are you and why the hell were you watching me sleep" As the creep removed his hands from his scarlet red face to grab the gesture of help, Frank felt his face turn a shade that rivaled the creeps. "Damn," Frank thought "Since when were creeps this attractive?"

The sudden touch of each others hands caused Gerards knees to grow even weaker. "I'm Gerard." he mumbled out, gaining a bit of his composer when Frank let go of his grip. "Wait, did you say your name was Frank?" confirming his thoughts with a slight nod, the only thing Gerard could think of was "What a coincidence."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally written on wattpad but now I'm adding in more detail and slight changes, that's all (: Sorry for such a short chapter though!


	3. Chapter 3

"So why are you in here?" The young man asked while staring with curiosity in a critical gaze. He hadn't gotten breakfast due to what Gerard guessed was because of his stomach ache that might still be lingering.

"That's a bit straight forward, isn't it?" Gerard replied bleakly before shoving a spoon full of what was suppose to be oatmeal in his mouth. They've only known each other for less than 24 hours and he asks a question that's been answered to no one for the past 5 months. It's astonishing Gerard even offered for them to sit together as a form of an apology. For Christ sake, he wanted Frank to see he wasn't a complete psycho.

"Yeah, I guess..." Frank replied sounding a bit disappointed with a look equivalent. What did he expect? Him to spill a can of beans like that so easily? Sure the guy was beyond attractive, but that's not a free pass into someone's personal life. "Why were you in the injured wing then? Is that less personal?" The dude could read minds. "Uh, yeah. A guy socked me in the face. What about you?" Waiting for a reply while scooping another spoonful of oatmeal into his mouth, he noticed Frank starting to get fidgety.

"I had a stomach ache..." Gerard nearly choked on his paste of what barley passed as food. His guess was right, which didn't happen often but wasn't unheard of. The noises definitely matched the symptom. "A stomach ache? Do you know what from?" Frank's fidgeting intensified by the second. Tapping on the cafeteria table, bouncing his left leg on his toes, biting his lip, this didn't help Gerards nerves at all.

"Pills." Short and to the point, yet reverberated each other to the core. "Parents?"

"Yeah." Both giving understanding glances to each other then down at the table generic cafeteria table.

Out of the corner of Gerards eye sat Bob at another cafeteria table across the dinning hall. If he wasn't still in a bit of shock about getting Frank's situation completely correct, Bob would be receiving a favor for the black eye he so kindly gave Gerard. All that showed on Bob's face was sadness however, which came as a surprise.

"The hell? You feel sorry for what you did? Eat shit Bob." Responding to the thought and Bob with a vengeful glare.

"Oh yeah by the way, why were you leaning over me like that when I was fucking asleep? That shit was pretty creepy." his neck nearly snapped when he was pulled away from his thoughts to look at Frank. "What? O-oh. I um, I thought you were dead"

"Bullshit!"

"It's not bullshit! You kept me up all night with your moaning and when you stopped I freaked out!"

"Oh... Sorry about that." There he goes sounding upset again. No wonder Bob got pissed when he did the same thing. "It's fine, I don't usually sleep anyway." he added trying to change the subject, which seemed effective when Frank's eyes lit up.

"Haha, I could tell! You have major dark circles around your eyes, or one that is."

After that a childish high pitched giggle escaped the dark haired boys mouth along with a smile that could cure cancer. That laugh and smile was contagious apparently, without even noticing it had appeared on Gerard as well.

"So is that the guy who gave it to you over there? The one who you just gave the look from hell to a second ago?" Pointing with his index finger at the mass of Bob who was now scarfing down stale pancakes.

"You ask a lot of questions don't you?" Turning bashful and looking away with a smirk Gerard continued with a smile at the thought that he made that coral color show up on Franks perfect face. "Yeah he's the one, Bob The Blob." Letting out yet another childish giggle Gerard felt his spirit enlighten with each snicker, something about this boys spirit was very special.

Ending the laughter was a bell notifying it was time to finish up and go to "Community Group"

While talking to Frank he found out this was only his first week here. No wonder his face isn't familiar. This would be his first time in Community Group so of course Gerard gave him some tips. "Don't say how you really feel if you want to get out of here. Say what you know they want to hear, got it? And don't make eye contact with Bob The Blob, especially when he's talking."

"But I want to get better Gerard..." the words came out sounding as pitiful as a dog with its tail stepped on. "Alright listen Frank," Forcing his honey coated sad eyes to lock onto his own grassy greens by holding his face with both hands on each cheek, "Depression is normal, okay? Anyone who tells you otherwise is full of shit. It's okay to be depressed, as long as it's not debilitating you." With that, he grabbed Frank by the hand and lead him into the Community Group.


	4. Chapter 4

Walking into a room while holding another guys hand probably wasn't one of Gerard's brightest ideas. He didn't give a shit though, the way Frank started shaking when they entered, it would have been crude to let go. They sat down beside one another in two metal chairs that littered the hospital. These generic chairs were in a circle, for a group therapy session of course.

"Hey, you alright?" Gerard whispered dangerously close to Frank's face. Close enough to make Frank shiver even more so. "Y-Yeah, I just get n-nervous in large groups. Especially when I have to t-talk."

"Don't worry you'll do fine. Just say 'Pass' if you don't want to speak." confirming the comforting words he squeezed the hand he was still holding. Frank said thank you with a lopsided smile.

"Hey can I sit here" a way too skinny man pointed to where Frank sat. It was Jimmy, the anorexic with bad manners too apparently. Thinking Gerard would actually let Jimmy sit there instead, Frank gave anxious looks at the two men. "What the fuck? No Jimmy. Can't you see it's already taken by Frank?" gesturing at the less anxious boy that was sitting right there. A look appeared across Jimmies face that was questionable, but didn't question why Frank was sitting with Gerard of all people, and sat somewhere else.

By now the circle was full of patient's and the guidance counselor entered with the same faked smile given every single session. They had to let go of hands for the "PDA" rule set in place, even though Gerard convinced himself nothing at all was going on between the two.

Person by person, the woman got closer to calling Franks name and with each persons name the worse it got. He tried to shout pass before she called his name but the words couldn't even pass through his mouth, the poor kid was trembling so badly. The counselor skipped him and didn't call his name, which was rare but was probably needed if they didn't want a patient to have a heart attack. Gerard wanted nothing more than to hug Frank as tight as he could right then and there. "Restrain yourself God damn it. You wanna go back to being that complete creep again? Holding his hand was enough for one day, if you keep advancing he'll think you're trying to get into his pants..."

"It's your turn Gerard. How are you feeling today?" that same God damn smile plastered on the obviously miserable counselor. With her gray unkempt hair, unhealthy body weight, and lack of makeup to conceal her frown lines it was quite obvious.

"Gerard."

Oh, yes a firm use of my name will definitely make me open up. Not a chance old hag.

"I'm the happiest I've ever been."

Without a hint of surprise the unhappy woman moved on. Continuing the repetitive question with various answers, she eventually got to Bob. Immediately Gerard looked at Frank to see where his eyes were wondering, praying to God that he took his advice. What he saw was surprising to say the least, he was looking Bob directly with a smug look planted on his face and only a hint of shaking. But Gerard couldn't tell if it was from still being nervous, or anticipation of what was on his mind. Bob was too busy ranting about the stale pancakes he was "forced" to eat to notice thankfully, but the look scared him a bit none the less. It was a mischievous and some what maniacal grin, which added curiosity as to what was running through his mind to achieve such a look. When the group dispersed after Bob had finished, Gerard pulled Frank aside to investigate.

"What was that back there?" Keeping his voice low so by standers still leaving couldn't hear. "What are you talking about?" Trying to pull the innocence card without much effort, it was replied with an unamused frown. "Alright, alright. That dude was the one who gave you that black eye right? I was thinking about how we get the fucker back! An eye for an eye! A tooth for a tooth!" Shushing the excessively enthusiastic boy with a side lock, Gerard wasn't sure where he was going with this.

"What do you mean Frankie? Are you trying to get locked up in this hell hole forever?"

"No! I'm just saying we get even with him! He gave you a black eye, so I say we give him the shits. I have a foolproof plan too, we'll never get caught, I promise." Pleading with his eyes, convincing Gerard he meant what he said, he caved in. Wanting nothing more than to pull a fast one on Bob for as long as they've known each other, now was the perfect opportunity to do so with an accomplice by his side. "Okay, spill it then."

\\\

Gerard entered Dr. Khan's office with the same demeanor as usual, slumped over and an expressionless look, then settled down in the leather covered chair with a squeak. The office was small and bleak with only one picture decorating the beige walls and even it was a generic painting most likely bought at Hobby Lobby. A single item propped on the barren desk which read "Dr. James Khan" beside an old Mac computer set neatly to the side. Dr. Khans exterior matched that of his office; bleak, generic, and barren. Emotions other than pretend concern and irritation rarely showed on the middle aged gray hair Caucasian man. Pretend concern was the one being used at the moment towards the patient sat in front of his name plate. "What seems to be the problem Mr. Way?" Forcing emotion into his words trying to get an answer out of Gerard. "My eyes seem to be dry, I need eye drops. That's all, so you can stop trying to force fake interest." This caused the other emotion irritation to show. "Well, I'll get those by the end of the week for you. Are you sure you don't have anything else you want to get off your chest?" There he goes forcing fake concern again. "Hm. Well, I feel extraordinarily gay this afternoon, thanks for asking. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll show myself out."

Succeeding in getting a knew look to show on the Dr.'s face, that of shock, Gerard left with the same smug look Frank gave earlier. What he said wasn't a lie either, he found himself growing more and more attached to Frank by the second. Ever since he laid eyes on the young mans face that morning in the stark white hospital bed sheets, something keeps telling him to never look away.

Now, he found himself walking with his back straighter and faster, eager to relay the message that Dr. Khan took the bate and is giving them exactly what they needed.


	5. Chapter 5

"Are you ever going to tell me why you're in here man?" Frank asked disgruntled while thumbing through a book titled "The Catcher In The Rye". Gerard was in the middle of drawing a doodle for Frank, Frankenstein ripping out its insides covered in its own guts and blood, his favorite. They sat in front of each other with legs crossed behind a book shelf in the back of the library so no staff could see them. Every one was starting to get suspicious of their relationship, Gerard could see it in their eyes every time they walked past a patient or staff. The look of mistrust, he's seen it before many times through the eyes of one's he himself trusted dearly. He didn't think he would be able to handle it if Frank looked at him the same way, that's why the topic was delayed as much as possible. But now, seeing how much it was starting to bother Frank by the way his eyebrows were furrowed and deep brown eyes filled with worry instead of senseless joy, there was no delaying the inevitable. While putting the pencil and drawing onto the floor next to them the movement caught Franks attention to do the same with his book. Gerard then grabbed his thighs just to pull the two closer so his full attention was on the situation at hand but causing Franks cheeks to blush in the process none the less.

"You really wanna know?" Looking the most serious either of them had seen. "Yeah, I can't help if I don't know the problem." The few words caused Gerard's eyes to water. He wasn't expecting an answer like that at all. He thought Frank wanted to know how fucked up he truly was to have a reason to leave. Maybe, just maybe, he could be helped. "My brother... he put me in here as a form of rehabilitation..." As the words came out Gerard found a lump forming in his throat. It was only till Frank grabbed his hand and encouraged him with eyes full of understatement until the lump loosened up.  
"I went into one of the most debilitating fits of depression in my life when the only person who made me feel like I had a future died. I felt when she died so did any remnants of future I had went with her, 6 feet underground covered in dirt and decay. So, I tried to self medicate with anything I could get my hands on... then one thing lead to another and one day I woke up in a pool of blood in the ally by my flat... Last thing I remember is my brother helping the guards throw me in here." Silence fell onto the two, which caused Gerard's nerves to quiver with utter anxiety not knowing what it meant. Was he going to leave him to? Just like his grandmother, parents, and brother? Did he have to witness another heart breaking disappointment? Maybe he should take his own life and spare others the inconvenience... Seconds became hours, it must have been at least an hour but was probably only a few minutes before a word was spoken. Two very unexpected words, spoken so genuinely from a boy who knew so little.

"It's okay."

Those words struck a chord within the lonesome junky somehow, maybe it was just the right tone or tune it was spoken in that made him cry. Whatever it was, now there were two boys huddled together behind a book shelf in the back of the library showing the most empathy each could muster. Something they both needed so desperately but finding it in no one willing warm body.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fan fiction so feed back is always very appreciated, enjoy!


End file.
